Daytona

We were minding our own business outside of a wonderful little country sub sandwich-tackle-taxidermy-tattoo-gas station, laughing about the guy on oxygen who was mad we ride our bikes on the wrong (however correct) side of the road, after all "how the shit yous goona see who runs yous over?", when a couple of the locals at Schweggs roadside chitlin and gizzard specializing cafe came over to size us up. Three large guys, we still aren't sure if they were just hillbilly nice or perhaps interested in 'borrowing' everything we own forever, two of them did not have a full set of teeth between them and the third guy seemed alright. after asking us the usual questions these strange new questions came up... and this really is true;

Q does anyone know your on this trip?
A hahah yes
Q how many people know where you are right now?
A um... well, i guess all of them we have gps tracking (as if they know what that is)
Q how much money you bring with you?
A seriously? cash? why? you plan on killing us and dumping our bodies in the everglades?
(bj starts using a large knife to fidget on his bike, they just keep
looking at me)... long pause... none we definitely do not carry any cash.

They just look at each other and then the smart one goes, well yeah they do all this kind of thing on credit cards (they have no idea that their credit is actually better than ours). After we got the formalities out of the way we started asking them how much further to Daytona. They quickly replied that Daytona is too dangerous for us to go, and that carries more weight coming from a shirtless toothless hillbilly drinking old milwakee 22 oz cans at 11 am, but if we really had to go through it we would know we were there when we started to see the hookers on the side of the road. Moving on down the road, about 65 miles down the road, we stop at a bike shop and ask if there are some good hotels in Daytona. The bike shop guy tells us that there is not anything good in Daytona anywhere and we shouldn't even pull off to the side of the road, we will know when were there because there are hookers everywhere, if we absolutely have to we can stay in an area outside of Daytona, but whatever we do if we absolutely have to go through Daytona DO NOT go there at night and DO NOT stop in Holly Hill. So we get a cheap hotel (slurpee owned) in Holly Hill, wait till it gets dark and then walk down the street to a biker bar. Of course it sounds like a bad idea, but cmon, I already told you the adult left days ago.

So there we are the week before Biketoberfest just outside Holly Hill sitting in a bar with a disclaimer on the door about injuries in or on, yes on, the premise and we met some really nice folks in there (sorry Boston people I forgot your names already, I think there was a Larry, but if you logged in don't forget to sign our guestbook). They asked what the hell we were doing in the bar we needed to go back to the hotel and make sure nobody was stealing our shit, oh and make sure you sleep by a video camera because they could film a new episode of COPS in the parking lot of our motel every night. So we go. Nothing happens, everyone we met was nice, no one robbed us, no hookers anywhere, it looks clean, and it even smells better than the rest of Florida. Apparently when your baseline for 'bad neighborhood' is Detroit, well you get the picture.

On a bad note we both woke up this morning sick, some sort of chest problem, we agree that it was from the motel. The motel was the dirtiest grossest thing on the planet. as soon as we are able to post pictures there will be some of the inside of the motel. disgusting.

This morning we decided to make today a day off and rode 5 miles to the beach, where we find a decent area by lots of bars, movie theatres, a boardwalk, the beach, restaraunts, and motels that were cheaper than the ones in Oak Hill... So thanks Bike shop guy, thanks for telling us where the cheap hotels are.

Cape Canaveral

Well it is the fifth day and were North of Cape Canaveral for the night. We had a gruling 65 mile ride yesterday along the Florida coast. The sun was out and there was a heat index of around 107, so Jesse has a back full of blistered skin and BJ is about a 15 min tan away from one. T dropped out of the tour yesterday so Jesse and BJ have been left without an adult...

The first night we holed up in a crack motel, there we found dirty syringes and dirtier hookers. The good news was that the slurpee indians who ran the place kept it so scary that the roaches wouldn't come in, the bad news is that the bed may have gotten Jesse pregnant. There was a number written in lipstick on the mirror it said 'Call 250-' the rest was probably wiped off when the previous tenants were blowing lines off of it, so we couldn't find out why we were supposed to call, we hope it was not important.

Tonight after a short 40 mile ride and if our stuff is still outside when we leave this delightfully cooled library, we will be camping. more to follow.

Waffle pixie

This hotel we were at last night has this free breakfast. Among the breakfast items there was a do-it-yourself waffle iron... sounds delicious but its really a trap to get into your pants, don't fall for it.

He puts the batter in, it flips uncontrolably spilling batter out, he puts in more batter, the timer goes off and wont stop, the waffle is stuck to the iron because he didn't re spray it, he moves the handle to stop the beeping alarm, it knocks his breakfast plate on the floor, he bends to get it his button snaps, and then he stands up and his shorts fall off. Dirty waffle machine pixie strikes again.

First Day Out

So we went to leave on our test drive and exactly 5 pedal strokes from the front door Jesse's rear derailer gets eaten by his rear wheel(see photo)... this is an impossible stunt, however it is around this point that we realize we live in the Matrix. Matrix Mark comes riding out of some mist and tells us where to get the part fixed. Not only does he send us to a place cheaper than ebay, but Neo owns it and its only a few miles away. Once the bike was fixed all we had to do was carb load, because if you know us we definitely need it. pasta, 2 hamburgers, 4 beers, and Ben and Jerry's later we were ready to ride. The day would have been a lot better if the 41 miles we covered were not headed directly into 30mph gail force winds. Aside from that, well that and the fact that every pedal stroke gave us intimate knowledge of prison rape, the ride went well. Jesse almost had an anurism as a compensator passed at about 35mph through 2ft of water in an H3 leaving gallons of road dirt all over his face and bike. We finally arrive in Juno Florida, we have delicious samiches and mini beers. Bj is chaffing so bad he is bleeding. Jesse is sunburned to the point of nausua. Terry is drinking soda water. We also made blog stickers which we are applying where needed, so far we have stickered; Wild Lyles Crazy Airboat Adventure (where wild Lyle ran over a gigantic swamp lizard and BJ got a sweet swamp lizard keychain) The Boob Zoo Two cordial Ladies in the Kwik Pic parking lot Matrix Mark Matrix Beatrice and our rental car

thanks Chris and Molly

This is a letter we received from Chris and Molly,it came with supplies to scrap book, cus Jesse loves to Scrap Book. It was sent to my mom's house. With a Huge donation.
thank you guys. you newlyweds rock.

THANK YOU

To everyone who showed up and had a beer with us at 336 main, Jesse and I would like to say thanks. We raised almost a hundred dollars. The Dance offs were incredible.

Kick Off Party Sunday

See us one more time before we die on the open road.

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 23RD @9:30
336 MAIN, DOWNTOWN PLYMOUTH
$1.50 DOMESTIC DRAFTS

Potato Farmers are Crazy

Tim Dennis is sponsoring us by mailing potatoes wherever we go. He vowed to have 6lbs mixed variety potatoes waiting for us every three days as long as we keep him supplied with addresses...
Mrsdennispotato.com

Thanks K.I.

Thanks to everyone on K.I. for the support for the trip, buying me shots and beers , and for letting me work to fund this trip.
I had fun this summer and the best thing to do after drinking myself silly all summer on the island would be to purge my body of the poison by riding my bike across american.
keep reading,
BJ

Big Kev Has sponsored us

Big Kev AKA Rusty AKA malone AKA Dalton.. has sponsored the ride with 10 free appetizer coupons from Outback Steak house. I hope there is an OutBack every 50 miles on the tour. He has also bought us fishing poles that are the size of pens but catch fish the size of our egos... Thanks KEVIN.

I am currently in San Antonio, I can only get a 15 minute computer pass... wierd.

This city is really cool, the mall actually is over the river which runs through the city. Along both its banks throughout downtown there are shops and bars, it's really wild. Pictures to follow.

Beth and Terry

We are starting from Miami, Florida and would like to thank Beth and Terry for making that happen.

katie has sponsored us

NEW SPONSOR
katie has bought us maps. that rotten little... i mean thanks Katie.

WE LEAVE IN 15 DAYS

Itinerary Change...

We have determined a departure date, it is the 26th of this month. We have also changed our route. We leave on the 26th for Florida, where we ride from the Atlantic to the Pacific. New route stops will be posted when our newest sponsor Katie sends us our new maps.
-Jesse